Over a Month Later Still Very Little to Say Besides a Few Pretentious Metaphors

I apologize to you, my minimal viewers who are all friends of mine and don't even read this, (why do I keep writing? My guess is my odd sense of narcissistic masochism), that I have not updated in so long. I have had many thoughts on what to update about and have meant to tell you so many things, but alas. I am lazy.

Though in my defense I do have a job, a social life (shudder,gasp! "In Fresno???"), a(nother masochistic) desire to frequent the gym, and a long list of to-do's which include apply for 5-6 different grad schools, 4-5 different major scholarships, begin outlining my senior thesis, and make sure that I am listening to at least one podcast a day and reading minimally 7 plays a week (thank you, Dr. Y for those last few requirements on my time). And to top it all off I met someone on Saturday (to keep a long, over told story short, things with MC did not work out so well) and now I have this ridiculous (and totally typical of me) urge to think about him more than is necessary and answer his many text messages. Damn you, Fate! Just when I am ready to sever ties with this wretched city I call my hometown, you throw another, unexpected noose around me in that shape of my greatest weakness - a charming, nice, good-looking member of the opposite sex.

I suppose my complaints are futile, though, considering there are many out there who are less fortunate than me who would cry "Were I only that employed! That busy! That connected to a man! That well-connected that I would even consider graduate school!" were they forced to partake in reading or listening to my troubles.

And so I continually trudge through life - that slow march of the exceedingly blessed victim, who is simultaneously so often unaware of their good fortune and so in love with misery that they have the gall to complain about their small troubles, frittering away their right to good fortune.

Update on a Sadly Un-Updateable Life

To bring to a conclusion all of the drama of the boy trouble from my last blog, I am happy to give you the following news, my dear followers (who now number in the 3's! Woo-Hoo!).

CB: Have not hung out with him and thus have avoided the problem of having to explain that I am not into him! But have kept up Internet contact so am not a completely terrible friend
JB: SO over him. That speech? Probably BS to try to get him laid. Have no plans to try to get into further contact with him. Done, done, done, done, DONE!
MC: Yep, when I went and visited LA, he is the one I hung out with. Boy do I got it bad. We talk a lot online and whatnot as well. The amount has gone down a lot lately because my computer recently came down with a virus and thus I am forced to type this on the family computer. Ugh. But I digress.

Further updates: I have a sexy job working at Bright Laundry Service and today got my uniform (bright purple and green polos)
I'm turning 21 in 18 days
I was in LA last weekend and did way too much driving
JC is leaving Fresno for Navy Boot Camp on Monday which makes me sad
My computer has a virus
I am officially in LOVE with the new BBC version of Sherlock Holmes

Yeah I think that's it. Sorry I don't have an profound musings for you today. And after so long with nothing. I promise that my next review will be more interesting <3

Tom, Dick or Harry?

Not this that this should come as a surprise to ANYONE but here it is again: Boy trouble! Well not really trouble. Just options. Because, you know, there can never only be one guy at a time. Its either 0 or 2+ which means options, which makes things difficult and fairly complicated :/

To be honest though, there are only 2 this time. Harry is more of a friend problem - I'm starting to think that CB is developing feelings for me now that I am back in Fresno because we've been friends for so long and most of his other girl friends and love interests have moved away. We've always had kinda one of those relationships where we could cuddle and it wasn't a big deal (or so I thought anyway) and then we hung out on Friday and he kept trying to kiss the top of my head and was more flirty than usual... Danger zone. Hopefully that will be one those problems I can just skirt by  with subtle hints. It HAS worked in other cases so... I could be lucky. Right?

But back to Tom and Dick (or JB and MC to be more precise). First, on graduation night JB asks me to get dinner next time I'm in town after giving me this long-winded (granted, intoxicated) speech about how he wanted to ask me out during this last semester but was so busy and didn't think he could be a good boyfriend (which I'm pretty sure is bullshit since he was only taking 6 units and I definitely saw him at a few BTP parties but whatever). And, as much as I hate to admit it, I REALLY liked him at the beginning of the semester so as soon as he said some of these things my stomach flipped over a little bit. Against my wishes. So, not as over him as I thought.

THEN there's MC on whom I have developed a crush over the course of the semester due to many facebook chats and a failed attempt to hang out in a hot tub (long story - its not as skanky as it sounds, I promise). And according to RK, he told her that he wanted to ask me out before I left but then chickened out at the last minute. Also, since I have been home, he has facebook IMed me 3 times. Also a plus - he hasn't graduated yet. Only thing that doesn't fit is that he's not my "usual type" I guess - he's not outspoken or overly charming. He's just SUPER sweet.

Unfortunately both of these gentlemen are still in LA where I desperately wish I could be. But cannot due to the fact that living down there would have made me poor and jobless. Especially since I lack the ever-important car. However, I am going down (fingers crossed) in a 2 weeks for a graduation party. The question then is, whose attentions to pursue? Tom? Dick? Both? Neither?

Long story short: Men suck.

My Life in Media aka I have been Watching WAY too much "Scrubs"

Just to make sure we have this out in the open: my brain works in weird ways. And thus I think oddly. I know this may be a shocker to some of you, but it really shouldn't.

That fact settled I can now tell you the following and you might be less surprised/weirded out: I view my life as a romantic comedy. Or as a movie in general. But mostly a romantic comedy. Not the good juicy part in the middle, where you're gripping your pillow tightly and dropping popcorn onto your lap as your eyes are glued to the screen because you just can't look away due to either a) a boatload of sexual tension or b) a moment where the heroine appears to be making a huge mistake and you can't help but wonder (even though you totally know how the movie is going to end because, lets be real, its a romantic comedy and they ALL end in a similar fashion) "Will she? Won't she? Please end up together!" No, so far my life is a like the beginning of a romantic comedy; the part where the heroine has just been established as the protagonist to root for. There is no romantic hero yet, or if there is, the heroine doesn't quite yet know it. Either he's just a friend or perhaps she hates his guts (or so she thinks, but really that hate is just a poorly recognized desire! The heart fighting the mind, etc.). In this particular romantic comedy (i.e. mine) the beginning has been going on for... wait when did I hit puberty? Oh yeah, almost 9 years (only 2 more months till I'm 21!). No romantic hero in sight.

Obviously this is not the healthiest way to view my life. While it is sometimes entertaining to play out scenes in my mind as they should occur("Why hasn't he called?" Cut to hero staring at the phone, turmoil in his eyes, because he is unsure if his love will be accepted. Timidly he picks up the receiver, dials and says "Hi, I was wondering... Would you like to ugh.... *insert boring activity to cover up the fact that he actually wants to ask her on a date here* tonight?") , rather than how they actually occur ("Why hasn't he called?" "Probably because he doesn't actually like you and the fact that he tried to kiss you at that party only means that he wanted to get some." "That's completely illogical. Men suck." "Welcome to Earth!"), it's also probably psychologically unhealthy. It gives one false expectations/hopes and that's never fun. But I  like to think that when my hero does show up, his arrival is going to be twice as awesome because of my view on life as a RomCom! And our happily ever after moment is going to be so much cooler than everyone elses.

But lately, I've started comparing my life to other things. Specifically the TV show "Scrubs." I know! Just as strange and awkward. But really I do think its a better comparison and probably a healthier way to view my life as it is, in a way, more realistic. For example, the characters go through multiple relationships; we see what happens after the couples get together. They also don't stop growing after 90 minutes and suddenly come to a realization about life that happens a little to quickly - it can take them years! By which I mean whole seasons - like when JD kept going after Elliot! It took him 3 seasons (i.e. years!) to figure out that he wasn't in love with her!

Plus also, romantic comedies don't include characters inner monologues like "Scrubs" does. Seriously I can totally relate to JD! I muse on, like, everything. Except I don't think I get an awkward looking into the distance look on my face like he does *insert look here*. Do I?

Although granted this new analysis of my life may be slightly... colored(?) by the fact that I have been marathoning "Scrubs" since spring break. Usually watching at least one episode a day.

Sometimes it really sucks to be single...

... I know being single is for the most part good - you're not tied down, not worrying about anyone else, you're living your life! And like I said all that is great.

What sucks about being single though is that there is no one around to satisfy any sorts of... carnal urges. I suppose there is always the random hookup/one night stand, but as someone who recently decided to try to give those up in order to avoid a reputation for sluttiness, I think it best to refrain.

So the question remains - what to do? What to do? Suffer for the most part. I suppose I could go out and find some poor fool  that I don't actually like to date for a while but then I just have this darn conscience telling me that that would be wrong. And so the sufferings of the single girl will continue until... God knows when.

I Hope the World isn't Coming to an End

And I do not mean that in a figurative sense. Between the natural and political disasters that are going on lately, it almost makes me start thinking seriously about that Myan prediction of December 2012 apocolypse. Before the start of this year my usual reaction when hearing that story is "Don't you think that maybe when the Myans were drawing up that calender, they got 4,000 years ahead and thought 'This is pretty far in advance guys. Let's take a break and come back to it in a few thousand years.' But before thye got around to starting up again Spanish Conquistadors showed up, killed them off, and took thier stuff.

But as I said, lately the bit of my mind that worries and prepares for the worst is looking at the political unrest in like every other Middle-Eastern country, the disaster that has been Japan for the past month (not to mention that natural disasters in Haiti and various other third world countries that were just following non-stop on each other's footsteps for the past few years), and the weird stuff about dead fish washing up on beaches everywhere and is saying "Hm... maybe there's something to this." Which is absolutley terrifying.

And also I really don't want to die before I lose my virginity and at the rate things are going, if the world really does end in 2012 I so am.

Why I Hate Music or "The Cake Will End up Crazy"

My poor blog! I have ignored thee for so long. And at this point I have probably lost the two followers I have tried so hard to gain! Sigh...

But on to what really matters: le subject! (I doubt that that is actually French for subject, but hey it sounds cool, right?) Songs. The really, REALLY bad kind that get stuck in your head. There's nothing worse. Because it's never a good song that is stuck - that wouldn't be such a tragedy. It's always the really annoying or just plain bad or somehow unpleasant songs that set up residence inside your cranium and refuse to leave. Like squatters. Also you end up humming or singing them to yourself without even noticing and then someone else hears you and either a) makes fun of you or b) gets angry at you because now the song will be stuck in their head.

If you couldn't figure it out by the dedication of a blog to my complaining, I  have a song stuck in my head. Two, in fact. They've been there since Monday and somehow even the constant playing of other, more entertaining, and sometimes excessively odd songs like "Sweet Transvestite" cannot replace them! I blame my comedy class. In order to make some point, which I have forgotten since these songs are taking up all the decent thinking capacity, my professor played that stupid "Friday" song by Rebecca Black and some random mash-up that involved a song from that kids show "Lazytown." It had something to do with cake.

And see? That's even worse! I don't know the lyrics to either of these songs, so there's like one or two lyrics from each just playing over and over and OVER! So while I am trying to write this blog and a final American Lit paper on the changing use of the image of Nature all I can think is that I have to "do the cooking by the book" and that I "gotta get down on Friday." Both statements to which I can confidently answer with a nice, resounding DUH.